Rachel's Letters
by Penguins In Toasters
Summary: These are my letters to a good friend who moved to the land of Far Far Far Away... I love you, Rachel as a friend, that is ...
1. Letter 1

Letter #1

April 16th, 2012

Dear Rachel,

Hi. I know, you haven't moved yet (or as Kirstin says "going on a long long vacation"), but I'm bored, so I'm writin' you a letter.

In case you don't remember today, it's the day you gave me "the beef". I think I'm gonna keep that forever.

The eighth grade starts M.A.P. testing tomorrow. We're also going to be testing Wednesday and Thursday. I hate M.A.P. testing. I hate it because I have bad memories with it. Last year, I just got done with the math part of the M.A.P. test, and you know how they give you that scratch paper to show your work? Well, I finished it really quickly (math has never really been challenging for me), so I decided to draw on the back of the paper (I used the other side of it to show my work), and I wrote a repetition of the words:

"You take time to memorize the weather but you won't take a second to think about the fact that maybe I'm the kid you've always wanted"

Just for the record, a repetition means to do something over and over and over again. I wrote really small-like and I even drew a little picture. When Ms. Hartje made me throw it away (yes, she made me **throw it away**. Recycling was not an option). I was so mad. I worked **so **hard on it and she just threw it away like a piece of garbage. I'll try to make another one while I'm doing the M.A.P. test. Hopefully Mrs. Vinkie won't make me throw it away again.

My birthday's comin' up. The truth is, I didn't really want a birthday party. I did, but I just wanted to have it at Chuck E. Cheese. Instead, I'm gonna have it in a park by the lake.

If I couldn't have my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, I wanted to have it at a gym or at least some place with a rope swing and a trampoline. But in order to have a party at a gym or whatever, I had to pay, like, 500 dollars an hour. Instead, we're just gonna tie a rope to a tree.

Your personal stalker (kidding),

Sam Scholz

-P.S.,

Kirstin brought to my attention that in order to have a birthday party, I have to ask people for gifts. I didn't think of that. Maybe I'll think of if in a later letter…


	2. Letter 2

Letter #2

April 17th, 2012

Dear Rachel,

I figured out what I want for my birthday! It's not really that special. I thought of it as I was listening to "The Carpel Tunnel of Love," by Fall Out Boy. I don't know why I included the song title; it has nothing to do with the fact that I figured out what I want for my birthday. I guess it's because I have that song stuck in my head **[1]**.

I decided that I just want cash for my birthday **[2]. **The only person I asked for anything from was Kirstin and my other friend Tama. Kirstin kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday and she kept telling me that money didn't matter. I hate it when people talk about money. Even though I could have asked Kirstin for anything (there are a ton of things I could have asked her to get me), I told her I just wanted a shirt from Hot Topic. When I got home and thought about it, I texted her and just told her to get me these really cool socks (also from Hot Topic) that have Batman and all of the Justice League on them. I also told her to get me some chocolate-covered Gummie Bears. I don't even know if they make those…

Last night (or a couple nights ago, I can't remember…), I decided that I was going to post all of these letters to FanFiction and just paste the link onto your Facebook page. I got about half way through the first letter, then the Pizza Hut guy came and I was the only one home at the time **[3]**.

Kirstin and I made up our minds about how we should say our fair wells to you. I wanted to make a huge poster with a beach drawn on it; while Kirstin wanted to draw you a family portrait (I saw her drawing it when she finished her M.A.P. test) and a big card made from a piece of poster board.

The poster thing (on my part) didn't work out too well. The paper was too wide and all of my blue markers died. Kirstin's present to you looks like it turned out well, though.

I'll try to upload all of these to FanFiction tonight, but I won't post any of it to your wall until you move.

I love you (in a friend-ish kind of way),

Sam S.

-P.S., Just a random question: WHY THE HELL CAN THE SQUIRREL FROM ICE AGE NEVER GET THAT DAMN ACORN? **[4]**

-P.S.S., Throughout this letter, you have been seeing those random number in bold. Wherever you see those, it means there was something else I needed to say, but whatever I had to say had nothing to do with what I was talking about at the time. So, just a little "key" so you understand everything:

**[1] **"The Carpel Tunnel of Love," by Fall Out Boy, is one song you do _not _want to have stuck in your head while you're doing the M.A.P. test.

** [2] **I don't really care how much money I get for my birthday. I understand that twenty dollars is about the usual amount you're supposed to expect when you have a birthday party; so $20 would be just fine… tell Megan, that is, if she decides to come…

** [3] **I'm always home alone. Well, from about 3:30, my mom has to go get my little brother from per-school (you could meet him if you came to my birthday party). But after that, I'm always home alone

** [4] **After M.A.P. testing, Mr. Sollars didn't want to give us any more work, so he gave us a choice between watching "Ice Age," or "Where The Red Fern Grows". I've never watched "Where The Red Fern Grows," but I ended up having to suffer through "Ice Age" for the twentieth time.

-P.S.S.S., Today, Mr. Sollars had three Pepsi NEXTs. That was _just _during my class. I heard the cans hit a pool filled with hollow aluminum whenever he would throw an empty can of soda into the trashcan.

-P.S.S.S.S., I jus realized that I have three pages (on paper) worth of "P.S.s"… I should probably stop now…


	3. Letter 3

Letter #3

April 18th, 2012

Dear Rachel,

I just got done with the first session of the math part of the M.A.P. test. It was so easy. Maybe because I have a one hundred and three percent in pre-algebra.

I was going to read my book when I finished the M.A.P. test today, but my teacher sat me at a table that wobbles, so I either had to put my book under the desk to keep it from moving and making a lot of noise, or putting my notebook under my desk. Obviously I put my book under my desk, if I had put my notebook under my desk, I wouldn't be able to write to you.

What I really wanted to buy with my Christmas money was these really cool sneakers. They looked like hamburger and they have French fry in souls. I had all of my money together** [1] **and I was ready to but them, but when I got there, they were all sold out. I asked them if they had any in the back, but the guy that was working at the counter said they were only a spring item. I was so pissed.

So now that my birthday's coming up and my birthday's in the spring and I'm asking everybody for cash, I might just be able to get them this year.

Today, I have the song "Bitter Sweet," by Panic! at the disco stuck in my head** [2]**. It's really catchy. It's on Kirstin's "My Big Campus" page. Wait, can you ever get on your account after you move, or do they just delete it? You should look after you read this.

Speaking of moving, I saw Destiny the other day! Well, I didn't really see _her, _but I saw her older brother who used to be in my grade, not that'd you know him or anything… He was comin out of his house when my mom pulled up. I ran up to him and gave him Destiny's invitation to my party so hopefully, she'll come.

Not to purposely change the subject to something random to prove my point, but I had Lucky Charms this morning for breakfast, so I'm really happy. Not a hyper kind of happy **[3],** but a "I slept really wonderfully last night and I feel good that I'm gonna get a good grade on this test because I know how to do everything because everything's easy" feeling.

I really wanted a sausage and pancake on a stick for breakfast, but Mr. Sollars was in front of me and he got it and if he got it, then if I got it, I'd seem like a pig.

Instead of getting all of the yummy ness of the sausage and pancake on a stick, I had to eat boring Lucky Charms. Then again, if I didn't have the lucky Charms, I wouldn't be in this great of a mood. I still have a craving for sausage and pancake on a stick…

Last night, I finished your first letter, and I tried to do the first half of the second letter, but I ran out of time before I had to take a shower. I have a feeling that I won't get all of these letters finished until Friday, or at least a day I can stay up late without worrying about school…

I should probably stop writing,

Sam

-P.S., I saw in Mr. Sollars' room that the 7th grade "Pond Day" is coming up and that you won't be there for it. I hope Megan doesn't feel left out and alone…

-P.S.S., Here are what all of the numbers in circles mean:

**[1] **The shoes I want from Hot Topic cost $170. That's a lot of money. I just hope everyone will get me cash so I can get them. But I also want the presents that I asked other people for…

**[2] **I take every chance I can to get people turned on to Panic! at the Disco (especially girls, teenage girls…). It just seems so selfish to keep them all to myself

**[3] **About the whole "hyper" thing; all of the girls in my grade (especially Samantha Bennett) over-exaggerate the whole "hyper" thing. They just lie and say they are hyper when they really aren't. I know I always say I don't like people who always preach about what their personal beliefs are, (even though I do it all the time) I'm going to preach here, so I wouldn't blame you if you skipped over this part:

"I believe that hyperness is just something the government came up with just so people feel safer and not scared when their bodies shut down slowly because of all the sugar they had, and feel sick as their bodies slowly decay inside themselves."

Dark, I know, but it's what I believe, even though I know it's kinda "out-there"


End file.
